1、第一次做饭，问我爸咋样，他说：“这盐炒得不错，有淡淡的蛋香”。 The first time I cooked, I asked my father how he was. He said, "the salt is good. It has a light smell of eggs.". 2、吃不到天鹅肉——我还不能吃鸭子肉么。 I can't eat swan meat - I can't eat duck meat yet. 3、大家都是“情不知所起，一往而深”，我不一样，我是“钱不知所去，一贫如洗”。 Everyone is "love does not know where, go deep", I am not the same, I am "money does not know where to go, poor." 4、安慰别人的时候一套一套的，安慰自己的时候只想找根绳子一套。 Comfort others when a set of comfort, comfort yourself when just want to find a rope set. 5、我决定抛个硬币，摔碎了我就去学习。 I decided to toss a coin, and when it broke, I went to study. 6、我哪里不好你告诉我，我马上把你删掉。 What's wrong with me? You tell me. I'll delete you right away. 7、玩王者真的可以变年轻啊，要不然他们怎么会说我是小学生。 Play king can really become young, otherwise how can they say I am a primary school student. 8、女追男，隔层纱。男追女，隔车、隔房、隔她妈。 Female pursues male, interlayer yarn. Men chase women, next to the car, next to the room, next to her mother. 9、几个字总结我现在的状态：胖得专心致志，穷的心灵祥和！ A few words sum up my present state: fat to concentrate, poor soul peace! 10、怀才就像怀孕，时间长了才能看出来。 It's like being pregnant. It takes a long time to see it. 11、有人月入几万人民币，而我月入几万卡路里。 Some people earn tens of thousands of yuan a month, while I earn tens of thousands of calories a month. 12、好好活着，我们会死很久。 Live well, we will die for a long time. 13、“你的拿手好菜是什么？”“我烧的白开水还不错。” "What's your specialty?" "My boiled water is not bad."